Hi so. here is my first "diary" post. As in me rambling about random stuff. I'm trying to work on things!!! I have some pixel art drawn and I already have a thing that I won't use because it's taking too much energy and I want to do thousands of them, so I need to find a way to make the job quicker (hence, it won't be used). I think I will make a page in the site where I "dump" the stuff I don't use, because I still care about it, it still holds memories, and that's a lot of what this ro0m is about. I don't know tho, because if I put lots of images, it won't take long to reach that 1GB of total space,,, but that's a problem for the future anyway. For now, in terms of actual coding, I'm just yk... trying to make this exist? Possibly doing some bases that can be used for later. I'm at the very start, like, very very first bricks, but it's still sort of fun because of the intention and the attitude I'm putting into this. I haven't really worked on something that is solely and uniquely "mine" in a long, long timewhile. So it's sort of fun to just go and copypaste the "this is Luna from Zero Escape" paragraph into here, and simply change the text (that's what I did!)
I know this is a long random paragraph of me just saying random stuff but tbh I'm a little overwhelmed rn because I drank 2 monsters (it's one of the only things that ground me and make me survive dissociation but yk. Through anxiety lol. Still!!! I wanna feel alive. And I am ok with this. (Just fyi since you don't know me: I actually haven't drank any energy drink in like a long while. It's just that I've been in pretty bad physical conditions especially in the past few years, and I've done different "diet" thingies (very carefully) to try and boost my metabolism. Now I'm at the stage where I think all I need is some help speeding it up + some cardio every day. SOOOOO the energy drinks come to help))
Anyway I'm too tired to actually explain it all lol idk why I'm even trying to explain myself... TO MYSELF??? anyway here I am. Welcome to me. Maybe I sort of want this to be right??? But I told myself so many times that this doesn't have to be right, it simply needs to be true! And then we get to the age-old question of "what is true"... I think the answer is a little bit too complex to be dealt with here. But I'm glad that by rambling, this first post ended up being about "what is true". It's the foundation of a lot of my philosophy (and thinking is all I am about, I've been thinking for every moment of my life since I first started doing it). STILL... whatever the answer is, I committed to one thing and one thing only: to let my fingers go, and to have them say whatever they say. I don't need to find identity in what I'm saying right now, I don't need to think and feel that what I'm saying is the thing I should be saying + the "true" thing about me. Because I commit, because I'm taking a choice, I can find identity in that; and these words, when they'll be read in the future by whoever will read them, will ring true. The truth they carry is deeper than something that can be found through logic and basic assessment of one point + one another one. It's simply the symbol of what "right now" is. And... ngl, I'm pretty proud of that. I felt uncomfortable during the previous paragraphs, because they could "potentially" not be "me". But "me" is something quite complex, and even if those "were" not me, they "flowed". They're potential, and they act like it. idk who or what that is; but it is Blue and it is Fulgens, so that's "good".
Welp. There's not much more to say. ... Or rather, there was nothing to say in the first place. This page, nor any on this site, was not thought to have any point by itself. The site in general does have a point, it will be "used" as foundation for understanding me, when the time is right. But in order to do that, it has to be what I committed for it to be: completely grounded in the present, with no ties to its future or to the Project. What's written here is neither "canon" or "not canon". I'd say it can be used as information to the canon, by digging into the psyche of Blue Fulgens as the meta-character, someone that you folgors can't really interact with, at least almost never. So yeah. Just rambling. What it needs to be, it's a sort of diary after all. Let me end it all by saying: I would really like to find a greeting for the start and the end of my videos, but I want that to happen organically, possibly by interacting with the folgors that come to my streams when that happens, so... pretend I'm saying bye-bye in the way that will organically happen in the future! (Yes, you're the one writing the ending!!!)
Friday the 13th! Second day of this rambling page. No expectation to do it daily of course, but since I'm here, might as well use it to vent a little: I wish I had more energies man... like, looking back, it feels like my life is a rollercoaster going from stress to depression. I try to hope for the future and every day I do what I can to build that home where I can finally be safe and free, but yk, when "what I can" is barely lifting a finger, it's sort of frustrating. Still! There's something I've wanted before leaving my current ro0m, in which I haven't been able to do many of the things I wanted to experience it. And I'm gonna do it now, when there's 13ish days left: dedicating one hour every day (sort of) to just stare at the page. There's nothing I need to do specifically, just, let time flow as I stare at the page. Maybe something moves. In this case, I'm writing this little entry. Doing it at 14 (2pm), but tomorrow I'll need to do it in the morning since I'll be busy at lunch and after. I hope this helps me become less slow and dysfunctional at everything, I don't wanna be functional only when there's external stressors, there's so much inside that I want to express. Anyway, see you for now!
Update 1: this text should be blue
Update 2: this text should be yellow
Update 3: this text should be orngaeg and also emphasized (what's the difference with italics? Anyway that was in italics. Not that one tho. That was bold.)
Update 4: this text should be pink, while this one should be strong which idk what the difference with bold is, and this one instead should be markiplier. hehe, see what I did there? Wondering if I can change the color of the mark tho... Also how to indent paragraphs. Is that how it's said? idk but we'll see.
Update 5: this page has migrated to "ramblemarch26", and I've made the "ramble" page just a collection of pages. So that there will be a maximum of 31 entries per month! I like that number. That said, the next step could be to group each entry to make so that it can be opened or closed...
Update 6: nothing changed, I just told tina stuff as I realized that I'm really liking this "forced to stare at the screen for one hour doing nothing besides neocities" thing... it's sure nice,,, anyway there's also Night Running playing in my ears rn. freaking bop
Update 7: idk wh- OMG SEDUM BY SINCERE!!! Play The Hundred Line pls I'm so in love with what this game means to the current world-- anYWAY. as I try and wet my currently non-existing tears rn so that I can feel some fun emotion, I just wanted to say,
Also if all went right the paragraph should have a label too (and this text should be crossed for no reason)
Update 8: the previous paragraph is labeled in PROGRAMMING terms, but in aesthetic terms nothing really happened. Though I presume that I can now link back to that? Maybe I can label the header for these first 2 entries and use that to do that selection thingie I wanted?
Update9: that text should be funky! Also, Flutter Mane Fairy Ghost
Update10: that text should be funky too!!! Also, Flutter Mane Fairy Nevermind lol it doesn't let me do it (I wanted for the different options to have different colors),,, ANYWAY I need to go soon so bye! Wahoo it's 15 (3pm)
Update 11: it'sssssssssss been a bad day rip. I'll read some random guides online and then go to sleep. Apparently there's sites with free JavaScript courses, and neocities uses some javascript (as far as I got, it's html, javascript and css). I'm at super starting level so I have no idea what will be useful where. I'm using the resources on the neocities website for now (mainly those from Mozilla), + this one I just found for javascript. Hopefully this site will stop being black and white soon!!! I can use some old layouts as placeholders, so I'll do just that. But first, I need to understand where to even put those layouts...
heyoooooooo yes, as you can clearly see here, I took time off rip. Mostly because days just seem to run so fast and quick... now I have about 27 minutes to do something here so here we go. Then if I have time I wanted to draw Bulbasaur as a gyaru like people are doing for Pokopia, because that game is actually really helping me experience the room I'm in before having to relocate. So yeah! Let's get this place HUMID!!!
Update 1: this text should be way down the previous one
Update 2: actually it seems like it just made the WIDTH part work funky, and it makes sense, because I said width, not height. idk if it's called height tho. I'll try now.
This text should be way down the previous oneUpdate 3: yippie! It worked!!!
Update 4: this text should be sort of centralized I believe?
Update 5: I'm not putting "p" before here, so I just wanna see if it works. Anyway, if I do this,
I think this sentence should be beneath the previous one and a little more to the right
Update 6: yes it was BUT! I want it to be right after the previous one, so... I think I need to do something different to make the "paragraph indentation" thingie I wanna do
Update 7: every update from today should now be in a selection thingie (so now I had to code the p at the start for the ones that don't have it)
Update 8: actually I didn't need to put any "p"s lol. Frankly I'm having trouble seeing the purpose of the "p"s at all (like, I get why and how they exist, but functionally? isn't it better to just write the paragraph without any tag???) Anyway, I'll now try to put every entry in a selection thingieUpdate 9: ok it works but I lost track of all the details help me
Update 10: nvm I got it, I forgot one "/details" somewhere. also I do need those "p"s after all, otherwise the texts just stick with each other
oi hi. It's early in the morning, got my Monster right here and I told myself I'd be doing nothing but stare at the page for a hour. soooooooo here we are
Update 1: idk just wanted to CLARIFY, because I seem to be unable to write ANYTHING without it being 100% TRUE, that I will NOT do "nothing but stare at the page for a hour"; there will also likely be several breaks due to physical issues going on. Goodness I can't wait till I solve them all. I'm ok and serene about life even with the pain and horrors but dang do they make me dysfunctional, and dang do I wanna be functional. There's so much I wanna do, not even just neocities
Update 3: that didn't work BUT the horizontal rule looks neat!!!
Update 4: I seem to have finished the Mozilla cheatsheet, so whatever I do, I gotta do it with what I used so far. That's all for the tags, apparently! ... idk?????? I don't know why I felt like just learning tags would make me build the awesome site in my head. That said, I now skipped ahead to the "Responsive Images" tag, and will probably put the wip pixel art at the h0me. I also read about the Art Direction Problem (which if I got it correctly is the issue of things looking different btwn computer and phone); I didn't think about it, even though it was an actual real problem when I made my carrd. It's a little scary, because for the carrd I just manually edited every single part of it to fit both screens semi-neatly, while this ro0m is a much bigger project. But I bet there's better ways to solve it here
Update 5: "CSS arguably has better tools for responsive design than HTML, and we'll talk about those in a future CSS module." oh so I will be learning useless stuff got it (I'm just being annoying, I'm ok with learning the html even if eventually I'll move to CSS... stilllllllllllllllllllllllllll I must admit I think I'm at a stage where everything looks mnemonic. I wanna get to the phase where I just add layouts here and there, where I focus my time thinking about the general design... as always, I have the youtuber issue of "I love editing but I wish I had an editor". I bet eventually I will have someone editing code for me, but I only want it to happen when I can pay them fairly, and since I'm a big anarchist, "fairly" is quite the understatement. Of course of course, I've been spending like, almost the past 20 years thinking "when I actually do it, THEN..."; and I've never actually made it. The Pokémon Scarlet video hasn't even actually begun production yet lol-- I have the scenario semi-ready, but not even the script, and editing is gonna be a heck of a monster to tackle.
I can't wait, folgors. I've been living all my life waiting for my life to finally start. For a life where I have the time and environment and abilities to express all that has been inspired to me. For days that look like a morning of work, cooking for myself, taking care of human and non-human friends, evenings of streaming, nights of sleep, weekends of fun. I want that life so bad.)
Update 6: venting and rambling in the previous paragraph kinda felt good ngl, but it's a mess, so I will not put an unordered list at each of the points. I'll also do an ordered list for Update 7, where I will write an example of how my life will look like; eventually I wanna understand if I can replace the "1, 2 etc" in the ordered list with things like "monday, tuesday" etc.
Update 7: mockup listy days of my utopic week I guess [maybe eventually I can try and code this to look like a selection, and when you select monday the text for monday appears?]